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What is the prostate and how do I play with it? A guide to prostate orgasms

If you were born with a penis then luckily for you, you also have a prostate - a walnut-sized gland which can be stimulated from within the rectal passage to provide toe-curling pleasure.

Despite its orgasmic potential, many prostate-owners haven’t yet sought out the sensations that the prostate can bring. This is likely down to the mainstream media wrongly teaching us that womxn experience pleasure through internal stimulation and men through external - when in reality pretty much everyone can find pleasure through both. 

Prostate play has nothing to do with your sexual orientation and can be enjoyed by anyone who has a prostate.

Let’s get to grips with the basics. 

What does a prostate orgasm feel like?

The pleasure is often described as a more intense or deeper sensation than external stimulation alone. The orgasms are said to build from deep inside and be felt through more of the body. 

Where is the prostate located?

The prostate can be accessed indirectly, though the rectal wall, around 2-3 inches inside of the rectal passage. It is located on the anterior (front) side of the body, towards the belly button. 

The prostate is a walnut-sized gland which calls the area between the bladder and the penis home - it’s located near where the penis begins internally. The urethra runs through the middle of the prostate (the tube that carries urine from your bladder to outside of your body). Once you are aroused, the prostate becomes firmer and easier to find. The purpose of the prostate it to create and hold prostatic fluid, which is released during ejaculation.

What are the benefits of prostate massage?

Prostate massage can be medical or just plain sexual. Some of the benefits include:

  • Can cleanse toxins from your reproductive system 
  • Evidence to suggest regular prostate orgasms can improve overall health of the prostate 
  • Has been known to improve urine flow and help you to better control the flow
  • No refractory period - you may experience multiple orgasms in one session
  • If you experience erectile function or do not want to use your penis during sex, prostate stimulation can be a great alternative
  • It just feels really good - do you need any other reason tbh?

How to prep for a prostate massage

Regardless of whether you’re massaging your own prostate or on the receiving end of a prostate massage, you may want to take some steps to feel at ease. As with any anal activity, there is a small chance of fecal matter showing up to the party, and although it’s unlikely, it’s totally normal if this does happen.

To feel clean beforehand, we recommend taking a shower and paying special attention to your anus, maybe pop a finger inside to find out if anything is lurking there and then wash your hands thoroughly afterwards. You can also use an enema, but that is totally up to you and not essential.

If you’re planning on using your fingers, make sure they are clean and your nails are trimmed and filed to avoid any discomfort. You may want to opt for a condom or glove for protection.

You’ll want to have plenty of lube within grabbing distance, we recommend Sliquid Sassy if you’re using silicone toys, or Überlube if you’re using fingers.

You may find it easier to use a toy instead of contorting your body to reach the prostate. The Aneros Eupho Syn is a firm silicone toy with deliberate curves to hit the right spots.


Okay, time to get to it! 

Many people find that the best position for prostate stimulation is laying on their back. If you’re playing with a partner, the easiest position is on your back, with your partner between your legs - that way they get easy access to both your prostate and your penis if desired. 

Get yourself fully turned on before going anywhere near the prostate, because the prostate forms part of the erectile tissue the more you are turned on the better it will feel. If you’re solo, this means you should do whatever you usually do when you’re masturbating and getting yourself in the mood. Likewise if you’re with a partner, plenty of kissing, touching and paying attention to the penis first. 

Once you are turned on and the blood is flowing to your genital region, it’s time to get to it! 

Lubricate the entire area (like, a lot - there’s no such thing as too much lube). Begin by massaging the area around the anus with one hand, while using your other hand on the penis. 

When you / your partner are ready, slowly start penetrating the anus with your index finger. Take it really slow here - the anus is comprised of two sphincters which are the rings of muscle that stop anything from escaping your body involuntarily. One is internal and one is external, and you’re going to want to progress super slowly so as not to cause your body to tense up.

Once your finger is two joints deep, you can begin to feel for the prostate through the rectal wall. You’re looking for a hard, round bump against the front wall - the side towards your belly. Once you’ve located the prostate, you can play around with different types of stimulation using the flat pad of your finger, such as:

  • A ‘come hither’ motion. Curl your finger towards their belly and repeat
  • Circular motion 
  • Side to side or up and down motion 

Try different amounts of pressure and speeds, always start slowly and gently increase the stimulation. If you are massaging a partner, it’s important to check in and see how they are feeling. Ask them if certain types of pressure feel better or worse and look for cues in their body language.

It’s up to you to decide whether to continue to stimulate your penis throughout the prostate massage. One method we recommend for prostate beginners, is to think of the build to orgasm as a scale of 1-10, if you’re around the 5 mark, then stop touching the penis and just enjoy the prostate sensations until you reach around an 8, and then reintroduce external stimulation to enjoy a blended orgasm. 

When you near climax, let the pleasure build slowly and don’t rush. 

Happy playing!