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How to choose a vibrator

Choosing a vibrator can be a daunting task, especially if you’re new to the buzz. Investing in your pleasure can be incredibly rewarding, but of course you want to make sure you choose the right vibrator for your needs.

Everybody is different, and the ways that we experience pleasure and the methods to get us there can vary drastically from person to person. What might be a light tickle for one person feels earth-shatteringly good for another. When you’re investing in a new vibrator, of course you want to get it right first time. 

How you choose a vibrator will depend upon a number of factors. In this guide we’re going to focus on first vibrator considerations for people with vulvas.

Quality over quantity 

I know that the urge to buy the cheapest toy available as your first toy is strong. But doing so could give you a false-impression of whether sex toys work for you and lead to you dismiss pleasure products based on a lacklustre experience. Plus cheap toys are often made from substandard materials.

I always recommend that first-time vibrator buyers choose a mid-range toy which has glowing reviews. Choose a toy that does one thing well, rather than a bells and whistles 50-function toy that promises to make you cum in 15 different ways and take the rubbish out for you afterwards. 

External VS internal 

When you masturbate or have sex with a partner, do you go straight for the clit or do you prefer that penetrative action? Maybe you need a mix of both?

If you haven’t yet experimented and aren’t sure which stimulation you prefer, then a classic vibrator shape is the way to go - toys like the Noje G-Spot Wand are a great affordable way to experiment with internal stimulation, and the bulbed head doubles really well as a clitoral stimulator. If simplicity is your bag then the Gaia Eco Vibrator is a really great first vibe - no bells and whistles here, just simple vibrations with a very small price-tag at £12. 

A bullet vibe is great choice for newcomers due to their affordability and easy-to-store size. The Nu Sensuelle is our personal fave as it delivers rumbly vibrations that are incredibly powerful for its size. 

Clitoral stimulation: vibrations VS air-pressure 

Air pressure stimulators are a relatively new development in the sex toy world. Where a vibrator may feel like it’s pushing the sensation into you, air pressure toys feel more like they are pulling orgasms out of you. In our experience, orgasms from air-pressure toys are more intense.

They are frequently likened to oral sex because of the almost lapping / tapping stimulation they provide (except the giver continuously hits exactly the right spot). 

The Satisfyer Pro Traveller is the perfect toy to try out this kind of stimulation - it ‘sucks’ at your clit using little air waves. The Lelo Sona is a powerful toy that uses sound wave technology to stimulate both the internal and external parts of your clit - the waves travel deep to the internal portion and provide a sensation that is genuinely unlike anything else on the market (we are yet to hear a bad review of Sona).

Power play

You might want to consider the power of your toy - both the strength of the vibrations, but also how the toy is powered. Vibrators fit into three main categories - battery powered, rechargeable and mains operated.

Battery operated toys are great for travel and tend to be very affordable, but they do tend to be a little louder than rechargeable toys. 

Rechargeable vibrators tend to come with a charging cable that you can plug into any standard USB plug and are more likely to be splash-proof/ waterproof (always check the packaging before submerging a toy).

Mains-operated toys tend to be powerful and long-lasting as they are basically a household appliance. They will never be waterproof.

Power queens

If you’re into strong stimulation or want a vibe that covers a wider area, then a wand style vibrator is the way to go. This classic style was popularised by the iconic Hitachi Magic Wand and has been a staple for vulva-owners since the 70s.

The Doxy Wand is a more recent cult-favourite (and for good reason) but if you’re not so keen on a plug in vibe or are put off by the size, there are smaller alternatives such as Le Wand Petite or the teeny-tiny Noje wand. Wand vibrators are a great toy to use during partnered sex due to the large surface area they cover - if you’re moving around you can still hit the right spot. 

Lube 

Lube legit makes everything better. Obviously toys aren’t self-lubricating, so slathering on some body-safe lube can take a toy from ‘oh yeah’ to ‘oh F*CK’. Metal, hard plastic and glass toys are compatible with any lubricant, whereas silicone toys should not be used with silicone lubricant, so stick to a water-based lube. More on that here.

If you’re struggling to decide, there are tonnes of great resources out there and sex writers and toy reviewers have done a lot of the hard work for you. Plus if you’re struggling to decide, feel free to drop us an email at info@selfandmore.com and we will be happy to make a personalised recommendation.